Play it off as stigmata for crossover fans...

stigmataforyou @ 2004-08-13T22:38:00

2004-08-14T02:38:57Z

ok, so I made a new journal.

cutters__club

everyone add me, please.

stigmataforyou @ 2004-08-13T16:05:00

2004-08-13T20:09:39Z

Last night was fun. Hung out with Sarah! and Keegan! Woo!! I love Keegan so much, and Sarah sooo much...it's ridic. I hadn't seen both of them in a while so I was mucho mucho happy. I must have hugged and kissed Keegan like 50 times. Haha. Sarah got me shit from Florida and it's amazing. Giant sunglasses and "sensual" candles are fun times.

Work was very very bad today. I got my period hardcore and got wicked sick. I was having the worst pains of my life, I thought I was dying or something was bursting in my ovaries. I was on the verge of tears all day...and I sort of threw up in the bathroom. Needless to say, my boss (whom I love) sent me home like 3 hours early. Thanks, Deb. You're the greatest. And Nora too for helping me out when I was semi-puking.

Buuutttt I know where I'm living now! Weinstein Residence Hall biatch. In Washington Square. And I have AC!!! Hell yes. And I have two roomates. Megan from MA, and Rachael from NY. Yay. And by the way it is put in the letter, I think I have a single! Fuck yes.

P.S. - Last night, Sarah said Jade from AFI looks like a monkey. I happen to think he is the most gorgeous man ever put on this earth. Eff you, Sarah. Salsa. Yeah. You suck.

stigmataforyou @ 2004-08-11T17:15:00

2004-08-11T21:13:43Z

Napoleon Dynamite = effing ridiculous. and i <3 it.

SARAH'S HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Holy shit. Isn't that fantastic?

Yes, yes it is.

stigmataforyou @ 2004-08-09T23:21:00

2004-08-10T03:23:53Z

Ok. So this weekend my family decided I suck.

Sunday, I felt like shit and my fam wasn't helping that. So, I escaped. I drove around and went places (wink wink, nudge nudge). Erik is awesome, that's all I can say. Totally made my day a lot fuckin better.

Then, I got invited to go to Wrights Chicken Farm with J-ho, Meggles, Vin, and Pek. So, we go and get ourselves lost. Mhm. Took two hours to get there when it should have taken like and hour. I was fucking STARVING! So, we ate and it was yummy. And we talked of sex dreams, masturbation, and my vagina throughout the whole meal and drive home. We are amazing and you want to be friends with us. I will def. miss those kids for making me laugh all the time and totally making my day awesome.

Work today was sooooo tiring. I came home in a shitty mood and got in fights with my brother. Yeah. So, now my mom is nice and my brother hates me. Coolness. Dad must be next. I'm going through the whole family. One last hurray before I go away to college.

P.S.(this is for Pek.)
MY VAGINA IS FUCKING AWESOME!!!!! IT OWNS YOU!!!!

stigmataforyou @ 2004-08-06T17:32:00

2004-08-06T21:30:59Z

Work sucked.

Weird incidents downtown.

Feeling sick to my stomach.

This is just not my day.

**....i think maybe i should go to Newbury Comics tonight and call Sarah. It would be funny, and make me happy. Maybe.**

stigmataforyou @ 2004-08-05T17:47:00

2004-08-05T21:45:41Z

Effing staff meeting. I'm only gonna be working for like two more weeks anyway. Buuutttt I have to go or else they could try to fire me. Bullcrap.

No harvard square with Keegan. Boo.

stigmataforyou @ 2004-08-04T16:33:00

2004-08-04T20:34:23Z

Quite the scare this morning. My brother was having an allergic reaction to some medicine and his heart rate was going crazy. Shit like that scares me, but I have to stay calm. Or else my mom freaks out. I hate having to be the calm one all the time, but it's life. Anyway, my brother is okay...but still. His heart isn't healthy. Stuff like that needs to never happen again.

Anyway....my brother said I look like a grandma today with the way I'm dressed. I don't think I do, although I am wearing my grandmothers old belt. Eh. Polo shirts and pinstriped pants do not equal grandma. Maybe it's the gold shoes. Maybe.

My mom criticizes my make-up all the time. I'm getting sick of her calling me 'scary' all the time when i wear eyeliner.

stigmataforyou @ 2004-08-04T01:09:00

2004-08-04T05:09:13Z

Just a quick one:
-i'm a stalker....oh yes.
-i would go lesbian for Angelina Jolie. in a heart beat.
-free shit rules like whoa....thanks J-Ho.
-my vagina is awesome. respect.
-Diego Luna needs to marry me.
-little kids were not behaving well today. boo. hopefully they'll be better next time i work.
-ineedaboy.

The End.

stigmataforyou @ 2004-07-31T00:54:00

2004-07-31T04:56:51Z

Saw I,Robot AGAIN.

Sarah leaves for Florida tomorrow. I won't be seeing her hardly at all the rest of the summer. This makes me extremely sad. She is my life. Bull. Shit. Life is stupid.

I need to hang out with Keegan...and Jess sometime soon. I'm only working two days next week, which is nice cause those kids totally wear me out. Daycare is crazy. But they're cute, so I don't mind. Especially Sarah L. I want to steal her. Cuteness like whoa. Oh, and Katie C. is like my 5 year old twin. Fucking awesome. I love her.

so, yeah. I said I'd show you my hair. So, here:

stigmataforyou @ 2004-07-28T18:34:00

2004-07-28T22:32:20Z

I went to Newbury Comics again.

haha. Oh Jesus.

stigmataforyou @ 2004-07-28T00:36:00

2004-07-28T04:37:19Z

Random Discoveries of the Day:
-myself and Sarah are making a film now.
-TBS is once again a favorite of mine.
-I NEED TO GO TO NEWBURY COMICS MORE OFTEN!!!!! (i have my reasons...)
-I'm sketchy and a liar (haha).
-Sarah and I are completely amused by really dumb things.
-I need to grow some balls. (GROW dammit!...haha)
-Why is it that white vans are always the escape vehicle of kidnappers and rapists?

stigmataforyou @ 2004-07-26T15:36:00

2004-07-26T19:40:56Z

Last night was cool.

I saw I, Robot with Rumple and J-ho. It was a good time. It is a wicked nasty movie. I officially love Will Smith to the max. Also, I was pondering this. Why is it that whenever the world is in danger a black man always saves it? And why is that black man always Will Smith? Hm...

Went over J-ho's house after and Meggles, Katifer, Alifer, Trist, Maggie, and Vin came over too. We watched the redsox and played Uno. I scared the crap out of everyone with my random swearing.

for example, I had to draw cards to find a red one and I could not find one for the life of me. So, I got fed up and randomly shouted "fuckin cunts!" Needless to say everyone in the room was like "What the fuck?" It was rather amusing. I never used to swear like I do now. I think it's cuz of Sarah and Keegan. Keegan rubs off on me, and the fact that Sarah doesn't swear just drives the urge to swear more. Oh well.

Then, I got to feeling kinda crappy and decided Rumple should drive me home before I passed out on J-ho's chair.

Then, I passed out on my couch for a little and then watched The Days. That show is amazing. I heart it.

stigmataforyou @ 2004-07-24T21:08:00

2004-07-25T01:12:11Z

You mess with my friends, you mess with me. Nough said.

Um, yeah. I almost cut today, and I dont know why. I just felt sad and had the urge. But I stopped myself, so I'm proud. Go me.

I really miss a lot of people. Ana, Ali, Emily, etc.

But most of all I really Really REALLY MISS WADE AND JESS!!!! AAAHHHHHHH. I haven't talk to them since like March. It's ridiculous. I called Jess and left a message on her phone and sent them both emails. I really hope they write/call back. I feel so fucking lost without my friends. I feel like I'm dissconnected from so many people now that I don't want to be dissconnected from. Ugh. I hate the summer. People drift in the summer. I hate myself for letting this happen.

I can't listen to HotHotHeat without thinking of Wade. Boo. I miss him so much. I just want to die. What happened to getting married and being ridiculously polish together? Those were good times. I miss them.

And now, I think I'm gonna cry.

Jess/Wade, if you see this, call me...or something.

EDIT: I truly am on my Eight of Nine.

stigmataforyou @ 2004-07-24T13:38:00

2004-07-24T17:36:09Z

I bleached out the front of my hair again.

I'll get pics soon.

Sarah dyed her tips PINK. they're so hott.

stigmataforyou @ 2004-07-23T18:46:00

2004-07-23T22:58:10Z

Choose a band/artist and answer only in song titles by that band.
The Cardigans

Are you female or male:: heartbreaker
Describe yourself:: iron man
How do some people feel about you:: losers
How do you feel about yourself:: lovefool
Describe your ex girlfriend/boyfriend:: been it
Describe your current girlfriend/boyfriend:: your new cuckoo
Describe where you want to be:: great divide
Describe what you want to be:: never recover
Describe how you live:: grand turismo 300
Describe how you love:: step on me
Share a few words of wisdom:: choke

i'm bored.....so here.

These hospital walls are the pales of white.
Here in this desert they're reciting my last rites.
The smell of these halls brings temporary comfort
as the oxygen flows through my blood.
El corazon was poisoned tonight...

She's on her Eight of Nine.

When half of all your prayers are insincere,
the other half are lies.

Here is this watermark under this bridge.
The point where it all crested,
rolled back and drifted into the sea.
I climb from this wreckage
as the smoke begins to clear from my lungs.
The closest of close calls has happened tonight.

It's time that I made things right
for the first time since the last time.
Let this moment of clarity
lift this curse that has been cast upon me.

Appreciate the good times, but don't take the worst for granted.
'Cause you only get so many second chances.

stigmataforyou @ 2004-07-20T19:27:00

2004-07-20T23:25:19Z

hey now, lets not get weirded out.

so what if i don't masturbate?

i'm still normal...just not as sexually frustrated as everyone else.

stigmataforyou @ 2004-07-20T15:31:00

2004-07-20T19:34:45Z

I've been working a lot. It's okay though, the kids are wicked cute. But I haven't been able to see my favorite yet this week :-( His name is Michael, and he is adorable. He told me about how he doesn't like going outside, cuz he doesn't like getting dirty. So cute and funny. I wish he was my child.

Missed Sarah going to see Sexy Steve and Alec. Total bummer. I really wished I had gone. Boo. But Sarah and I hung out anyway last night. We went to Borders to get me coffee and Best Buy for her to return parts. We need to hang out at Borders more often, because hot boys hang out there...even if they do have girlfriends. We can still look right??? It's not like I'd do anything. I'm too shy. I might have last night though, I was so tired I just didn't care and made a total ass of myself everywhere we went. It was fun.

I so need to start taking my video camera with me everywhere I go now. Sarah is too awesome, and we need our ridiculous antics on tape so I can watch them years from now and laugh at how stupid I was.

Best Part of the Night:
Me: "Sarah, I'll buy you something if you just choose."
Sarah: "I want a cookie, but I don't know what kind."
Me: "Well, you have to choose, I'm next in line."
Sarah: "But I'm fat and there are so many choices!" (not really spoken, but whined...and she was holding her stomach too. wicked funny.....you had to be there.)

stigmataforyou @ 2004-07-18T14:34:00

2004-07-18T18:47:24Z

Shit dude.

Yesterday was the most interesting day of my life. Hectic, yes. Fun, yes. Gross, yes. But most of all, interesting.

Ok, so it starts of with me and Sarah trying to find Keegan house, which ends up being behind another house. So, of course, we drive by a bunch of times before we actually see it at all. Anyways, we get there, Keegans in his pajamas. So, he needs to go shower while me and Sarah check out his room. While he is picking out clothes and such we end up talking about how me and Sarah are the most virginal people EVER. And Keegan finds this funny and decides to attack me with a vibrator. Granted I'm not afraid of a vibrator in anyway, it's just that a vibrator in the hands of Keegan is very scary (especially when he hit in the back of the head with it.). So finally we leave. We get to the T and it's not working. So we drive around to all these other stations trying to find a place to park. We meet some of Keegans friends who are very very nice and lovely. Finally we get on a Newton Center and have to take a bus to Kenmore. The bus has no AC and is extremely slow. We are late now. So, finally we get on the T, then we get off and walk to Jackson Mann. We get there and it is packed. We are thinking it is sold out at this point. So we wait in line forever and actually do get in. We were like the last people to get in before it was sold out. The guy behind us was technically the last person to get in. Mhm. So yeah. The show was great. Cave In sucked immensely, but Converge was great. I got hit alot, but I did mosh for Sarah's viewing pleasure along with all the HUGE hardcore guys. By the end of the show we found Keegan again and he looked like shit. He said he had a migraine. So finally all of us get outside and Keegan goes to get food. Me and Sarah and Keegans friends go to Store 24 to get snacks. We get back and Keegan is sitting against the wall looking sooo sick. His eyes were like rolling in his head and he couldn't sit up at all. So, I'm like "we need to get you home, right now." So we get him up and moving and start heading to the T. I think we got about a block down when Keegan started throwing up. He puked like 4 times :( My poor baby. Finally we get to the T. Keegan liked slept on the T. Then we had to get another bus. Keegan slept there too. Finally we get to my car. I tell Keegan to tell me if he's gonna be sick, cuz there is no puking in my car. Buuttt we made to his house successfully. I hope he feels better. I've never seen him like that before. My poor love. Then I drove Keegans friends home cuz it was on the way back home for me and Sarah anyway. They were really cool, I hope to see them again. Me and Sarah eventually made it home, after I broke like every traffic violation EVER. I ran so many stop lights and signs. I pulled u-turns when I wasn't supposed to. I went up one ways the wrong way. I did so many other horrible things, I'm so surprised I didn't get pulled over. But I didn't care, I just wanted to get home cuz I felt like shit. Finally I made it home wicked late, and crashed in bed. Today I woke up, ate some pancakes, helped out my mom, and got dressed.

It was an interesting night. Crappy, funny, stressful, and interesting.

stigmataforyou @ 2004-07-14T16:10:00

2004-07-14T20:11:15Z

First day of work was good.

I have favorites already. The little emo child wasn't there today :-( Boo. Oh well. I made two cute friends anyway. Danielle and Anupama. They're both girls, and both 3 years old. Too cute and very shy. I guess I connect well with the shy ones, because I was once a shy kid too.

then...I don't know what happened. I turned into and idiot I guess. Oh well.

My mom got me a coffee cuz she is awesome like that.

NYU is being stupid about my health insurance and bullshit. Damn big schools, not keeping track of ANYTHING! Eh.

I do and don't want summer to be over.

Oh and guess what????

I'm awesome and listening to Good Charlotte right now! That's right bitches!!! I'm fucking fantastic.

stigmataforyou @ 2004-07-12T18:27:00

2004-07-12T22:25:21Z

You know what's hotness times a thousand?

Hanging out with Ian and Sarah.

That's right, bitches.

stigmataforyou @ 2004-07-10T16:23:00

2004-07-10T20:35:32Z

I just blew through 100 bucks in two hours. I'm awesome.

well...i have my reasons as to why though.

1. tickets = 80 dollars. (what a rip off)
2. cd = 17 bucks (it's one of the ones i lost and had to re-buy)
3. coffee = 3 bucks (i'm addicted)

Anyways...I got a lot of stares at the mall today. Strange. These guys like followed me around the mall but never said anything. Sketchy as hell. I wanted to turn around and be like "Fuck off, you cunts!", but I thought it might be a little too mean, seeing as I don't know them and it was in the middle of a mall. Yeah. I mean, maybe it was my outfit? I dunno.

stigmataforyou @ 2004-07-09T15:18:00

2004-07-09T19:22:41Z

Ok, kids. Just an update on the poll.

Nose is winning by a long shot, but I still need some important people to give me their opinions.

Keegan is actually the only one that wants me to get a Monroe...haha....go Keegan!

Buutttt my dad HATES Monroes...so I dunno.

Put x's in the one that apply to you

( ) I have been drunk
(x) I have kissed a member of the opposite sex
(x) I have kissed a member of the same sex
( ) I crashed a friend's car
( ) I have been to Japan
(x) I rode in a taxi
(x) I have been in love
( ) I've had sex
( ) I've had sex in public
(x) I've shoplifted
( ) I have been fired
(x) I have cut myself on purpose
( ) I have smoked pot
(x) I have been in a fist fight (t'was a very long time ago)
( ) I've had a 3-some
(x) I've snuck out of my parent's house
( ) I have been tied up
( ) I have been caught masturbating
( ) I pissed on myself
( ) I have been arrested
(x) I've made out with a stranger
( ) I've stolen something from my job (all the fucking time)
( ) I've celebrated New Year's in Time Square
( ) I've gone on a blind date (sorta)
(x) I've lied to a friend
( ) I've had a crush on a teacher
( ) I've celebrated Mardi-Gras in New Orleans
( ) I have been to Europe
(x) I've skipped school
( ) I've slept with a co-worker
( ) I have thrown up in a bar
( ) I have purposely set myself on fire
(x) I have eaten sushi
(x) I have been snowboarding
(x) I have been happy with myself
( ) I have met a movie star
( ) I had sex in a pool
(x) I went to a prom with someone of the same sex (sort of)
( ) I've bungee jumped
(x) I have been to a pop concert
( ) I have dated someone for over a year
( ) I sold naked pictures of myself
(x) I have been in a car accident
( ) I have slept in the nude
(x) I've eaten cheesecake
( ) I've had jury duty
(x) I've hated someone without knowing them
(x) I have been to Maine ( and i hate it, i get nose bleeds for some odd reason everytime i go )
( ) I've shot a real gun
( ) I've ran around with my trousers around my ankles
( ) I've had sex with someone within a week of meeting them
( ) I've done ecstasy
(x) I've gotten my ass kicked
( ) I've been caught smoking
(x) I've worn boxers
( ) I've had anal sex
(x) I've milked a cow
(x) I've got in a verbal fight with a teacher (mr. j. haha)
( ) I've cheated on someone
( ) Lied one time in this survey
( ) Lied more then once in this survey
( ) Threw a party at a friends house when they were gone
( ) Partied every weekend for the last month
(x) Sniffed markers to get high (by accident at katie's house)
(x) Slept for more than 15 hours at a time

stigmataforyou @ 2004-07-08T16:13:00

2004-07-08T20:11:45Z

I'm taking a piercing poll.

What should I get?

Monroe or Nose?

stigmataforyou @ 2004-07-08T00:36:00

2004-07-08T04:37:19Z

The show was good.

Boys Night Out was hilarious. The mosh pits were so fucking lame, it was ridiculous.

Hot Rod was good, but I dont think anyone in the crowd was really there to see them. There was only a small group of people dancing, including myself, since I have loved and still love them, no matter what. Southern rock all the way.

Saves the Day was soooo much better than the last time I saw them. They played all the old, good stuff from Can't Slow Down and Through Being Cool. I was very happy about this, seeing as I don't really like their new stuff. I kinda feel bad for the new fans though, since they didn't know any of the old songs. Sucks to be them though. Cuz when I start liking a band, I do my research. I look at all their music, regardless of time and genre. yeah.

I'm sweaty and gross now, but it's ok.

Interview for a job on Friday, wish me luck.

stigmataforyou @ 2004-07-06T15:05:00

2004-07-06T19:10:13Z

I'm bored.

Some advice: Don't paint your nails with white out and then color them with permanent marker. It fucking smells like rotting vagina. Disgusting.

Last night myself and Sarah watched lots of Family Guy on dvd cuz we're fucking cool like that.

I need something to do today. Tomorrow is the show, which will be fun, buutt today = nothing. Blah.

So, I want to get my nose pierced in NYC this fall. But I also want a tattoo. But I'm not really completely sure what I should get. I'm contemplating some lyrics from Get Up Kids, just because they have been the band of my lifetime and it totally relates to how I feel about myself. I would get "I'm still waiting for you to get over this" tattoed on my upper back. It just kind of sums up my life so far, and how it's just been a series of grudges and a being held guilty by association my whole life. Kind of sad and depressing, but it's ok. I'm a sad and depressing person so it works. Anyways...that's my idea. Let me know if you like it or not, or if you have some sort of suggestion to make it better. yeah.